


Shelly de Hedgehog

by ayasato



Series: PWKM Fills [7]
Category: Sonic the Hedgehog - All Media Types, 逆転裁判 | Gyakuten Saiban | Ace Attorney
Genre: Alternate Universe, Crack, Gen, Humor, Sonic The Hedgehog - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-19
Updated: 2018-01-19
Packaged: 2019-03-04 09:31:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,505
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13361712
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ayasato/pseuds/ayasato
Summary: Phoenix chuckles. "You mean the Chaos Emeralds?"





	Shelly de Hedgehog

"I advise you accept my terms, Mr. Wright," the voice on the other end of the transceiver drawls, "unless of course, you want something to happen to your... precious items."  
  
"My...  _precious items_?!"  
  
Phoenix can't believe he'd let Maya out of his sight yet again. He should've known. He should've known the moment a three-foot tall anthropomorphic hedgehog with pale, slicked back fur, a monocle, a mustache and a thick line of stitches going down the center of his face approached their group and called for Maya. But Maya had been so god damn drunk after dinner ("Nick, that circus case made me want to kill myself...") that he just hadn't wanted to deal with her anymore, so he'd left her in the care of the "bellhog".  
  
After a final vague threat, the transmission ends with a crackle. He squeezes the transceiver angrily, as if it could communicate his wrath to the fur-coated assassin. Pearl tugs at his pant leg.  
  
"We need to go, Pearls." Phoenix takes the sniffling little medium by the hand, who looks up at him worriedly. "We're going to meet with Matt the Echidna."  
  
"M-Ma-china? Who is that, Mr. Nick?"  
  
The attorney solemnly looks out the grand window of Gatewater Hotel, out into the starry night sky.  
  
"An Echidna... and our client."

 

\---

  
  
Shelly de Hedgehog flicks the radio off in a hurry. He'd been careless. The trial had proceeded far too quickly, all because he'd underestimated Phoenix Wright and that prosecuting attorney, giving them far too much information in a cat's meow. To think that the prosecution and defense would work together-- ludicrous! Then again, he should have expected any trial headed by Wright to be a kangaroo court.  
  
The police will be upon him any minute now; he has to get out of here with his hostage, and quickly.  
  
He throws open the door to the cellar with a gloved hand, causing Maya to look up blearily in alarm.  
  
"Hey, do you like... have any food around here?" she asks as he approaches, but he chooses to ignore her.  
  
"We must go," he says urgently, grabbing her bound-up form and throwing her over his shoulder, making her squeak. She's three times his height, but his upper body strength make it an easy feat. Fortunately, she's also still recovering from a terrible self-inflicted hangover, so she doesn't struggle very much either.  
  
"W-where are we going...?"  
  
Shelly secures her on his shoulder before dashing right out of the cellar, across the living room and out a window with a terrifying crash. Maya shrieks at the sound, but her voice is drowned out by the wind as the assassin picks up speed.  
  
"We gotta go fast."

 

\---

  
  
The police have him surrounded. Sweat beading on his forehead, the hedgehog assassin holds Maya in front of him like a shield and holds a gun to her head. If nothing else, he can buy himself some time to think of a way to escape. Engarde had betrayed him, so he can leave the hostage behind... if only he can find an opening. Perhaps a trade-off might work--  
  
"Put her down!" yells Gumshoe, his pistol shaking in his hands. "You have nowhere left to run!"  
  
de Hedgehog frowns, tightening his grip on the girl. "How did you find me?"  
  
"You fell right into our trap, pal! You followed the trail of gold rings we laid out, leading us to where we are!"  
  
The assassin sighs angrily. His overwhelming need to collect rings had overshadowed his common sense. He knew deep inside that the trail would only lead to the trouble he was trying to run away from, but he had gotten so lost in going fast...  
  
" _Curses._ "  
  
"Stop yelling, my head hurts," Maya grumbles, seemingly unaware of the gun at her temple.  
  
Suddenly, a commotion from behind the police line. That attorney, Phoenix Wright, shoves and kicks his way to the front to face the assassin.  
  
"You've made a wrong move, Wright." de Hedgehog jabs Maya with the barrel of the gun. "I told you not to get the police involved."  
  
"And you're just bluffing, because you know there's no more escape," Phoenix shoots back.  
  
The assassin holds his gaze. "You don't wan't anything to happen to your precious items, do you?"  
  
Phoenix seems confused.  
  
"Items... items..." Suddenly, something seems to click in the lawyer's head. "Wait... you mean, you haven't been threatening to kill Maya?"  
  
"Of course not. Why would I do that, when I hold something of yours that is far more valuable?"  
  
Phoenix chuckles. "You mean the Chaos Emeralds?"  
  
"...Why are you laughing?"  
  
The barely concealed panic in de Hedgehog's voice causes the attorney to smirk.  
  
"You actually think this is all about the Chaos Emeralds?"  
  
The assassin is internally reeling. He'd done plenty of research on the attorney and his assistant, only to not learn much because the former always seemed annoyed with the latter, who was always too drunk to get any useful information on her. Or maybe that's how she normally acts? Either way, he'd assumed that the lawyer was only keeping Maya around because she'd swallowed all seven Emeralds.  
  
"Maya might be the most annoying assistant to ever exist. And maybe she does steal my money to buy burgers and shitty anime merchandise online. And she might have a drinking problem, even though she's underage and she won't listen to me even though I'm both a lawyer  _and_  her boss. And maybe I've considered disowning her a few times.  
  
"But she's my assistant, and my friend. She's more important to me than all the Chaos Emeralds combined!"  
  
de Hedgehog is paralyzed with shock. "But the Chaos Emeralds' power is infinite!"  
  
"Invincibility, immortality..." Phoenix throws out his arm in a courtroom point. " _None of that will pay the bills!_ "  
  
The attorney slips a hand into his pocket and pulls out the one thing de Hedgehog had feared most: a single, large, juicy hamburger.  
  
"T-that--  _no!_ "  
  
"You knew that Maya wields the power of the Chaos Emeralds inside her," the attorney says, announcing as if he were presenting his argument to the court, "and you must also know that the one thing preventing her from using said powers... is  _hunger_!"  
  
Shelly de hedgehog lets go of his hostage immediately, but it's too late. Phoenix had thrown the burger across the parking lot, and it somehow didn't fall apart because Maya catches it. She grins at the attorney, and before de Hedgehog can do anything, she's taken a huge bite out of the burger.  
  
Almost immediately, the medium begins to glow, eliciting gasps from the police line.  
  
"W-what is this? T-this is..." Shelly shields his eyes. "The power of friendship?!"  
  
"There are some things you can't outrun, Shelly de Hedgehog." Phoenix says, smiling.  
  
Maya roars as she unleashes the power of all seven Chaos Emeralds, covering the premises in a blinding light. de Hedgehog trips over his oversized dress shoes and stumbles, sending his hundreds of gold rings tumbling out of his pockets.  
  
"M-my rings!"  
  
It's the last anyone ever hears from the assassin, for the burst of light and energy blinds everybody for a good five minutes. When the power finally subsides, de Hedgehog is gone, leaving behind only a trail of blood and rings.  
  
"After him!" yells Gumshoe, and an entire armada of police cars go zooming along the trail.  
  
Maya is on the ground, busy stealing all the rings de Hedgehog had dropped. Phoenix comes up to her.  
  
"Hey, you alright?"  
  
"Yeah, actually. Thanks Nick!"  
  
"Good, because you're fired."  
  
"Oh shit."  
  
Gumshoe walks up to them. "Apparently Ms. von Karma died of blood loss."  
  
"Still, that was pretty good, Nick.  _'There are some things you can't outrun!'_ "  
  
"Just like the law!" says Gumshoe.  
  
Everyone simultaneously breaks out into laughter, even the Judge, who isn't even there. Gumshoe later on is involved in a car crash and gets a concussion, but Maya uses the Emeralds to heal him and grant him future immunity to vehicle-related injuries. Phoenix pawns off all the gold rings Maya stole and becomes insanely rich. Not having to work anymore, he disbars himself so that he never has to deal with shit like this ever again. In the prison visiting room, Pearl accidentally sets off a Rube Goldberg machine that kills her mom, so the entirety of Trials & Tribulations never occurs. Meanwhile, Edgeworth realises that returning was a mistake and flees the country once more, leaving nothing but a letter saying "Prosecutor Edgeworth writes in third person". Nobody cared.  
  
As for Shelly de Hedgehog? The police are still out on a manhunt (hoghunt?) for him, but it's doubtful that he'll ever be found. With his incredible speed, he may continue to live free and work as an assassin from the shadows. As the sun sets on Japanifornia, it also sets on the case of Engarde and the killer hedgehog.  
  
But no matter how fast Shelly goes, or how many rings he amasses, there is one thing that he cannot outrun besides the law: his sins.

 

The End

**Author's Note:**

> A fill I wrote for the Phoenix Wright Kink Meme.  
> Original thread: <https://pw-kink-meme.dreamwidth.org/5253.html?thread=15844485>


End file.
